I was wondering when you'd show up!

Hey! It's crippling doubt! Buddy! Where have you been these past weeks?! It's been lonely without you lurking around. I've been lazily skipping through my new life, feeling on top of the world, braver than ever before without you. You can imagine how hard that was to get used to, so I'm relieved to have you back weighing me down. Like a mean, little yoda-type creature gripping my shoulders, training me with sage words "Too old, you are." and "You, no one wants." Reuninted, and it feels no good, my familiar disease.

How is it that I can see this part of me makes absolutely no sense part of the time, and the rest of the hours be completely certain of my worthlessness. I feel like a child of a broken home where one parent tells me I'll never amount to anything, then the shared custody switches and the other half reminds me that is a bunch of ridiculous nonsense, reminds me I'm special and awesome and gives me a juice box. But these caretakers are all in my head pushing chemicals and images and words around my noodle to keep me a confused, middle-aged bullying victim of my own damn thoughts.

I just got to ride this out, maybe watch some Mr. Rogers clips on YouTube, and press on until the sensible part of me comes to take me to the zoo or something.