Funemployment

This morning, I woke up for the second time, an unproductive resident of Los Angeles, wondering what to do with myself. This feeling is strangely alien and disturbing, having worked steady at one or more jobs since the age of 14, downtime doesn't come easily to me. Yesterday, I filled the void washing my roommates entire closet and picking up litter from his floor like community service for a punishment of my own sentencing.

My first instinct (after cleaning, that is) passed down from a long lineage of tireless farmers and diligent homemakers, was to go online and immediately look for work of any kind. My muscle memory took me through all of the graphic design positions on Craigslist, filling me with a familar dread. Yesterday, after fullfilling my only mandatory requirements of the week by moving all my belongings into public storage before lunch, I instinctively froze in front of a 'help wanted' sign in front of a tiny sea food restaurant. And I don't know the first thing about the preparation or service of sea food, and I don't much care to learn, either.

Do I need a job right now? Not really. My bills are up to date, I have enough money saved to get by for a while and I've been sustaining on the same bag of Korean BBQ take-out since my plane touched down. So the only thing pushing my need to work is me.

As the beautiful looking, former reality TV show chef said in the booth next to me at the coffee shop said "Do what you love and you never work a day in your life." Cliche, I know, esspecially for someone whose main passion is Beschamel sauce, but I've been "working" non-stop since I can remember and frankly, I'm sick of it. So today I wander my new home, determined to fill my time with new creative thought and not the thoughts of failure for finding myself in a period of societally-deemed unproductive self-reexamination, determined not to fall back into old patterns of doing what is expected of me, not doing what I love.

Yep, I think that's what I'm going to do today.
That and catch a matinee of Man of Steel.